Parent’s Page
This page is meant to guide parents on the best ways to support their child.
Do not force your kid into pitching: If your child wants to pitch, they will ask on their own. If they want to be good, they will practice on their own.
Finding the right pitching instruction: There are many pitching coaches who have little to no credentials when it comes to pitching. Just because they were a D1 pitcher, or they’ve been coaching for a long time, does not mean they’ll be a good pitching coach. I’ve seen a lot of pitching coaches make pitchers worse. You should pick a pitching coach who has some education on how the body works, who has a track record of producing successful pitchers, and that clicks well with your child. Most importantly, you should be getting results. What your child is learning from anyone should always make sense and feel better. You should also always pick a coach who shows that they care about your child as a person.
Quality over Quantity: Getting the right instruction is much more important than the amount of instruction. Parents who think their child will get better the more they see a pitching coach are very mistaken. You need time to work on what your coach is teaching you and if you see a coach too often you are either paying a coach to practice with your kid, or possibly overloading your kid with too much information.
Seeing a coach every week for the first month or two makes sense, and then after that every other week and eventually once a month should be fine. To be an excellent pitcher, you eventually have to figure out what you like, what works for you, and be able to make adjustments on your own. You also must be dedicated and disciplined enough to work on your own.Do not hop from coach to coach or team to team: Obviously as a parent, you want the best for your child. Unfortunately, we see a lot of parents who are never satisfied and are always looking for the next best thing. The more you hop around to different instructors and teams, the more confused your kid will be. Try to do your research when it comes to coaches and teams so you can find the right fit earlier on. Also, seeing multiple pitching coaches on a regular basis is a big no-no. This is sure to confuse your kid and prevent them from getting results. Going to clinics and camps here and there and to get a second look and learn some new things is fine.
Do not coach your kid during lessons, practices and games. It is disrespectful and distracting to the coaches, the other players, and your child. It’s understandable that at home, you as a parent will be working with your kid. Outside of the home, let your kid have uninterrupted time with their coaches and let them work through things during games. The kids who struggle the most during games are hands down always the ones whose parents are saying things to them during the games.
Putting excessive pressure on their children: Please do not compare your kid to other kids or make them feel they aren’t good enough. Especially at 10U!! I’m sorry, but the 10U parents are the craziest. Please give your child until 14U before you start wondering why they “aren’t up to par”. There are plenty of kids who develop slower, mature later, etc, before they hit 14 years old. As long as they are passionate about softball and want to work hard, let them keep working and trying to get better. I promise you, the more you push them to work harder and practice more, the less they will want to. If they want to be good, they will practice on their own. Try to support them by giving them the resources to practice on their own, such as an at home pitching set up in the yard or garage and good coaching where they are seeing results. The more fun a kid is having and the more results they’re getting, the more they will want to practice. Positive reinforcement will go so much farther with your child than negative! Let’s say they never practice on their own without being asked and one day they do. If you make a sarcastic comment like “wow, finally you’re practicing”, that will be extremely upsetting for your child. Instead say something like “Love that you’re practicing on your own! Keep up the great work!”.
Be careful about talking up your kid too much and putting down other kids: This one astonishes me. Let your child’s behavior, work ethic, good attitude, and being a good teammate speak for themselves. If you are successful, you will get plenty of praise from others and shouldn’t have to brag about your own kid. You deserve to be proud of your child and talk about their accomplishments! Just be careful about overdoing it or making it seem like you’re comparing them to others.
Motivate your child in healthy ways: Telling your pitcher that if they don’t practice, they won’t get to see their friends or watch tv or do normal things that kids do is incredibly unhealthy and toxic. A better way would be to explain to your pitcher the amount of time and money that you as a parent invest into softball for them, which you are happy to do as long as they’re working hard. If a child is not practicing on their own, you should not be bringing them to lessons. It is a waste of your time, the kid’s time, and the instructor’s time. Tell them when they’re willing to put in the work on their own, then you’ll bring them to lessons. Positive reinforcement from parents goes a lot farther than negative.
Teach your pitcher to be disciplined and self-motivated by:
Teaching them ‘we before me’. Teach them to be a good teammate and treat others the way they would like to be treated.
Teaching them to be grateful and to show gratitude to their coaches, teammates, and to you (parents).
Teach them the importance of great attitude and great effort. These are the only two things they need to be successful.
Teach them to communicate and ask questions. Their ability to communicate openly and respectfully with their teammates and coaches is crucial for their success. Asking questions is incredibly important for learning. Kids are too afraid to ask questions these days and they need to understand that the more they ask questions, the better they will learn.
Teach them to be prepared. They need to remember to bring their own water, to take their own notes, to pack and remember their own equipment, to clean up after themselves, etc.
Let your pitcher fail. Failure is inevitable and it is actually the best teacher. Your pitcher is going to have slumps, bad days, emotional days, maybe even injuries. It can be difficult to watch as a parent and you probably want to protect them, but know that these challenges are part of the experience. Let them work through it, encourage them to look at the bad days as a learning experience, and remind them that you only truly fail when you give up. Try to be a source of encouragement for your kid and remember to show them that you love them and are proud of them.
Making your pitcher pick between sports. If your pitcher wants to play three sports all through high school, let them. It’s fair to explain to them that you can only commit so much time, money, and effort into so many sports, but it’s not fair to make a kid choose. Do be careful about overloading their schedule. Ideally, multiple sport athletes should not have overlapping seasons. Your child does have to understand that being a pitcher is a big commitment and if they want to pitch at the highest level, they need to be careful about taking time away from pitching or risking injury with other sports. Bottom line – they need to know the risks, but the decision should be theirs.
Make sure your pitcher has down time and time to rest. It’s important that they have a social life and time to themselves. The amount that teams play and practice these days is a bit excessive. One of the biggest contributing factors to stress and mental health issues is not having enough down time.
Remember that parents play a huge role in what your child’s reputation will be in the softball community. No coach wants to deal with a crazy parent. If you have a reputation of being crazy, overbearing, hot headed, unreliable, difficult, cheap, gossipy, etc, you are only hurting your kid’s chances at getting good opportunities. I’ve seen kid’s reputations be completely ruined by their parent. One player I know was completely black listed in Florida for travel ball and college ball because one of her parents was so crazy and had burned so many bridges. Oh, and no one cares how much money you have if you’re an A-hole.